Selfishness

I found what Joyce said about selfishness being the root of the problem quite close to home. I remember while at Mercy, selfishness was rampant.

I'll be the first to admit that I was selfish while I was a resident. It may not have been as overt as some of the other people, but I was. I wanted things to go in a way that would appease me and when they didn't, I would get really upset. Case in point, I didn't want to go to the Fall Festival. I asked if I had to go...of course you know what that answer was. The whole time, I felt like I was being tortured (except for when I got to see the kitty) because it forced me to be knee deep in one of my fears...children. I also remember being upset because Emily didn't have to do anything and I about blew a fuse when I found out she got to go home early.

Instead of just letting it go and accepting my fate, I didn't let it go. A few nights later, Kelly was crying loudly. I thought she was crying over not seeing her daughter again. Never mind that DeJon had not seen her daughters since she got in the program. I did something that I wish I could take back. I wrote a note about how stupid Kelly was for crying and gave it to Lauren N. I never intended for Kelly to ever see that note. I was irritated and not able to express how I felt properly. I had been told that I could not talk to staff about other residents...but I had this need that I needed to be heard. I just had to follow my selfish desire.

I would like to know how not to be selfish like this again so I would not lose my blessings.